Friday, April 24, 2009

Writing...And the Other Shit that Clouds My Mind

I have been weighed down with the daily goings on of my split life-style, i.e. writer by night, teacher by day. To uphold the wholesome home front and then write the erotic behind closed doors, is a fence it seems many of us straddle.

Like so many other Americans, I have a graduates degree and no job to show for it. The stress of facing yet another year without a "real" job has caused my creativity well to run dry. I have been writing for the past few evenings, a few hundred words here and there. Now that I reread what I wrote, I realize that it is all worthless crap. My writing lacks the life that it showed before. I am sure that some of you have experienced this before. It is a temporary thing that will pass. But the troubles of the daytime seem to bleeding over into my evenings more and more. Why is it that a decent, hardworking, reliable, and well educated individual cannot find employment? Half of the jobs I apply for, I am over qaulified, the other half, I lack the expereince they are searching for--so what is it that I am to do? You know, I passed up a decent job outside of my intended feild to accept a temporary job in order to gain the "experience" necessary, and I feel that all my hard work was an exercise in futality. I have left college (grad. of 08) with a very expensive piece of paper and the student loan statements to prove it. Before now, when I put my mind to something, it worked out. But this past year, nothing has. My paternal grandfather passed away, I did not get a job offer for this school year, my father died, my maternal grandfather and grandmother died, and thus far I still have no job prospects. You know, if my dog ran off I could write a damned good country song here ;P

Here is to better days ahead--b/c I damned tired of feeling like Llyod Dobler holding that boom box over my head while Peter Gabriel sings Your Eyes.


  1. Debra Kayn said...
    Aw, Ava...Life hasn't been very kind to you lately. You've had more than your share of losses. *hugs*

    The economy sucks right now. We are dealing with it too. It is so hard for everyone to find their niche in the job market.

    I wish I had some wonderful thing to post that will give you something positive to think about, but everything I thought of just sounded silly to me.

    You are right though, and your muse will show up one day when you least expect it...when it does, grasp it and run with it. One thing about living in the world today, you can know that there are others out there experiencing similar set backs. It is real nice of you to post yours, because it makes those of us feel not so alone.

    If you ever feel like talking, brainstorming, or just want to bitch with someone. Feel free to contact me. :-)
    Ava James ~Romance Writer said...
    You know, it just feels better to complain on some level. In a way I guess it feels safer to voice the aggrivation here, my husband knows it already.
    Thanks for the words of encouragement, and I may take you up on the offer in the future.
    When it rains, it really pours and unfortunately alot of us are in the same damned movie scene--standing in the rain waiting.
    Kim Smith said...
    Just surfed in via link on castleinthesky yahoo group. Sorry to hear your muse went on vacation and didn't invite you to go. It happens. I hope you have good news coming your way soon!
    Nicole Zoltack said...
    Ava! It's all right. I'm so sorry that you've had some many losses so close together.

    And the economy sucks. It's so hard for people to keep the jobs they already have, let alone find another one if they get laid off.

    If you need someone to bounce ideas off of, just email me. My muse isn't cooperating the most right now so maybe we could help each other out, LOL If you just want to chat, bitch, moan, whine, I'll listen to that too.
    Sarah Simas said...
    Hi, Ava! I'm here to tell you...I think you're wonderful, awesome and I love your sense of humor. You have such a gift for words, it's inspiring.

    I've been where you are. I graduated with a degree in Dairy Science. I paid my way through college by milking cows, feeding calves at the dairy unit and working in the school's creamery making ice cream. When I had that piece of paper in my hands, I thought the magical world of jobs would open up and shower a magnificent career upon me. Um...I too faced a long wait! LOL

    After racking up the $$$ in loans and washing cow poop out of my hair for 4.5yrs, the best I could manage to get was a job being a demo girl at grocery stores for Foster Farms. I hawked OJ, yogurt and ice cream. *sigh* Then, I had a friend hand me a card to a head hunter. I called and within a month was hired as a lab tech testing bottles of...booze!!! It took me at least another 9m of testing malt beer before I got a job in my career of choice. I became the foreman in a QC lab of the world's largest mozzerella cheese company.

    *heehee* Only to throw it all to the wind and stay home after I had our first baby three years later! LOL

    It will happen, Ava. I know it will. If you ever need a cheer leader...I'm always good for a laugh! I'll be thining of you and wishing good thoughts your way.
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